apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
