I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
