my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
