like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
