Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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