I wanna bring you to show and tell
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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