worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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