Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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