if you like me you must not know who I am
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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