In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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