my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
