If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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