i was rollin on her like bob the builder
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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