I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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