It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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