I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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