i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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