At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
