he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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