oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
