Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
