There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
