Im at strip club and am horny
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Randomize
