are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
