thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
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