where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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