For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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