I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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