he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
