he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
