Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...

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(765): View more from Indiana

I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.

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(480): View more from Arizona

I had to brake up with him.

(602): View more from Arizona

In my experience drinking helps.

(480): View more from Arizona

You dont want to know why?

(602): View more from Arizona

Not really. I want to drink.

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(802): View more from Vermont

I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'

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(989): View more from Michigan

Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?

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(843): View more from South Carolina

You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W

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(858): View more from California

You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.

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