The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
