Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
