: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
