so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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