We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Sober January is a disaster.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
