4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
