Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
