i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
