just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
