So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize