1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
