i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
