I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
What a dumb baby whore.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
