he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
