your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize