And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
