My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
