she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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