I CAN MOONWALK!
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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