erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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