pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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