we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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