he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
