I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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