My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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