I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
