Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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