Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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