No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Let's paint friendship bongs
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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