I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
