dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Still dying that you shit outside
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
