what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
